Intro

So my counselor back at school wanted me to keep a journal about my depression.  There is no way that I am actually going to keep a physical journal of incriminating evidence in my house, so I figure this is the next best thing.
I'm a 19 year old college student.  I'm majoring in chemical engineering and Spanish, but am having some issues regarding changing my major (to biomedical engineering) and transferring to a different college.  It's the summer after my first year and would like to transfer after my second year.
I've had some type of cyclic depression since I was about 12.  I've never gotten any treatment until now, at 19.  Why am I so stupid you ask?  It's because my parents didn't want to put me into counseling for whatever reason, despite my blatantly telling them that I cut (no blood) my arms and that I want to die.  Apparently that's "just a phase".  You would think that them not being able to handle my intense bouts of crying would clue them in that something's wrong, but I guess not.  Maybe there's such a strong stigma that comes with having a child in therapy.  Maybe they didn't want to be considered bad parents.  But now that I'm in therapy and have realized how I should've gotten help sooner, I realize that, in my eyes, they are bad parents.  And they have been the trigger of my most current episode of depression.