I think my boyfriend is avoiding me. I sent him a short, kinda pissy message yesterday. It was followed later by a more apologetic message. I sent the short message when I was in the middle of my relapse, and not under my better judgment. When I realized how rude it actually sounded, I sent a longer message. Maybe I wasn't apologetic enough. Actually I tried not to be over-apologetic, because we were just talking about how we keep apologizing to each other over the dumbest things. But I guess this is fairly major, isn't it.
I'm pretty sure I'm his first girlfriend, and he's had a crush on me since high school. I've read that the faults of this type of guy is that they lose interest quickly, having different expectations for girlfriends. But they're also scared to break up because they're not confident about getting another girlfriend. I feel like if I asked how he felt he would lie. Or he would think I'm breaking up with him. But really, he deserves better. I'm too psycho for him to handle. I'm a terrible first girlfriend. My moods are so high maintenance. I feel so needy. I wish he would just respond to me. I would just look needier sending him more messages or calling him. Why do my moods have to ruin everything?!
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