Misery

Right now is just one of the worst times in my life. I just feel so miserable. I don't want to be alive, I hate my life. My family hates me. My best friend is making things more complicated with the guy I'm dating. In fact, one wrong move and I will lose my best friend and (almost) boyfriend. (My best friend and almost-boyfriend are close, too) I'm just so mad at myself. I'm making such a mistake. Why would I go out with someone so close to my friends? If I lose him I may lose them too. Then I would have no friends, no significant other and no family. I want to kill myself so badly I don't know what to do.